January, 2026

1/6/26
It doesn't cost anything to be kind, optimistic, and forward-thinking.
--
Recently, I have began to appreciate more that true understanding and mastery can only be earned through repetition. Re-reading books, dedicating brain power to the same problems over and over again. As my old instructor used to say, "kids nowadays think that everything can be done in five minutes." She is right, we do think that, and it's a false assumption.
All my life, concerning academic matters, I have thought I must be too stupid to understand something if I don't intuitively grasp a concept when first reading about it. For some reason, I really believed that everything that is true should make sense upon discovery. And I must say, there are really a lot of things that just make sense. However, this assumption was tested when I began to encounter advanced STEM material in undergrad. I would read about concepts in chemistry or physics that really just failed to make sense at the end of the first pass. This was very discouraging, and I thought I must be dumb. I thought I must be an imposter, that surely if I were as smart as people had told me in the past, something like this would be easy to understand. I am done with that sort of thinking. As I enter into my CS grad program next Monday, I know that this habit of thought can only destroy me. Hard material is just hard. You must fight with it in your mind. You must think about it over longer periods of time. You must really try to understand it. You have to truly seek an understanding. It will come to you with effort. There is no material that is too hard for the average person to understand--all that is required is time and effort.

1/4/25
Can we make any sort of claim that modern entertainment has somehow bettered us as a species? Are we better off by spending so much time watching shows, movies, or sports, or playing video games? Must we accept that it is all self-indulgence? Have we become too successful a society? I don't know. I read about great men from the 1800s or even the 1900s, and it makes me realize that we don't have as many people like them anymore. Wow, I can't think about it too much, or it becomes really depressing.

1/2/26
The simplest definition for what someone is: the things they do repeatedly over time.

December, 2025

12/25/25
At what point was America led to be ashamed of itself? And what other powerful countries on the planet have undergone something like this? We have subverted our own traditions and our Christian roots, and for what? I'm not a very religious person, but it is strange to see a country and culture reject itself. I do not believe this to be a wholesome or natural process.

12/23/25
The modern West's most recent attempt to "end" racism was nothing less than a movement wherein racism was employed against the white man. There was never any intention to embrace equal opportunity or anything of the sort. And white women, half-shielded because of their status as women (but still guilty of being white), surrendered themselves as sacrificial lambs to this movement as a sort of self-defense mechanism. I think this period will be looked upon with interest by historians later in the future.

12/18/25
There is no wealthy without poor. There is no poor without wealthy. There is no middle class without both of these.
--
I am tired of recommendation algorithms. I already do not have accounts on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. The social media site I use the most is YouTube. I must tip my hat to Google for implementing a setting which should be available by default on all social networks: the ability to remove the algorithm for YouTube. I was really surprised to see them give users this option, considering they won't even let users disable their AI overview on searches (which drove me to use DuckDuckGo instead). Anyway, I am looking forward to being able to use YouTube without the recommendation algorithm. You know, I'm just ready to experience life like a normal person. I am just flat-out tired of companies employing malicious strategies to maximize engagement and screen time. It wasn't always like this (obviously), and I'm not going to waste my one life on this planet being sucked into dumbass content on the internet. If that makes me weird, I don't really care.

12/17/25
I think social media platforms were destroyed by the coupling of recommendation algorithms and infinite scrolling. Newer users may not remember the time when these platforms didn't have these features. They felt entirely different. They felt more authentic--it felt like the user had more control. Can we imagine a world where the power is given to the user once again?
--
A fleeting perspective about AI usage in workflows: People adopting AI tools to essentially vibe code for them are trying to generate (no pun intended) a bunch of coping arguments to justify themselves and attempt to place themselves as ahead of the curve. Just look on LinkedIn for three seconds. "AI isn't replacing developers, it's replacing developers who are afraid to use it." "AI doesn't replace analytical thinking, it amplifies it." I saw a post wherein someone was describing their "tools for data analysis," here was their stack: Cursor, Claude Code, Replit, Gamma, Microsoft Copilot. I'm sorry, but this is laughable. Please tell me I'm not crazy?

12/15/25
I wish it didn't take our bodies a few minutes to boot up every morning. It would be awesome if, as soon as we opened our eyes, we were at peak functionality.
--
The judgement of what is worthwhile as an activity or hobby is contingent upon each individual. I don't believe there are absolute terms to speak of when confronting the meaning of life. To paraphrase Viktor Frankl: we shouldn't sit and ask life about its meaning. Instead, we should answer the questions that incessantly presents to us.
For me, I just prefer going to bed each night knowing that I tried to make progress in some sort of way that I view as meaningful. This eases my mind. However, something that I think is important or meaningful may seem pointless or dull to another (and vice versa). There is nothing wrong with this, and it does not render inadequate either of our personal definitions of meaning.

12/14/25
I really should learn some JavaScript to make this website cooler.

12/4/25
It is very unpleasant that Google does not allow users to disable its obnoxious AI overview. These days, users have less and less control over how they interact with the internet.
It is a bit corny, but I am going to start trying alternative search engines.
You know, I just can't help but to recognize that early computing/web pioneers did not want the power of these systems to be consolidated into the hands of a few companies. Google is worth $3 trillion and its share of the global search engine market is ~90%. Microsoft is worth over $3.5 trillion and the Windows operating system has over 70% market share for desktop computuers. Meta is worth ~$1.6 trillion and Facebook has over 3 billion active users monthly. These companies have made fortunes in part by exploiting their users and their data. I am exhausted with these companies.

12/03/25
News outlets, influencers, streamers, YouTubers... there are so many different people and platforms on the internet which try to tell us what is important, how we should feel about it, and what kind of action or response would be necessary as a consequence. Just stop and think about that. And think about how much worse it has gotten over the last ten years or so. I believe social media may have been created with pure intentions in mind, but it didn't take long for the powers at be to recognize how social media could be used to further their aims. These platforms were created to simply connect people. Now, they companies have steered the platform experience toward maximum engagement in favor of advertisers.
I am tired of having people on the internet tell me what I should think is important, what I should think about it, and how I should act upon it.

November, 2025

11/2/25
And how much more peaceful life becomes, when you make it smaller. When you focus on you, your family, your friends, your ambitions, and what you can directly control. And at what point did every common citizen take upon themselves the trouble and sorrow of an entire world? And at what point did it become virtuous to stalk online feeds, inputting emotional, half-witted commentary, in order to signal to others, "And I am one of you!"

11/20/25
What a peaceful month it has been. I feel that this month I have succeeded in producing more than I consume. This is a great feeling.

October, 2025

10/29/25
I do worry about my fellow gen-z. We have grown up very distracted people. As a matter of fact, there is an argument to be made that we are the most distracted generation of human beings ever. I wonder how this will affect us?

10/28/25
Leather shoes and a well-fitted jacket does not automatically indicate refinement or respectability. I have met scoundrels vile in manner who were dressed to the nines, and I have met honorable men deserving of the utmost respect dressed in base clothing. If anything, the scoundrels often use sharp dress to disguise themselves.

10/27/25
There are moments when the brevity of life descends upon one like a mighty storm and becomes the sole occupant along the train of thought for quite some time. It is very difficult in these moments to maintain a matter-of-fact demeanor, it is difficult not to question every decision one has made up to that point, and every decision one will make after that point. I suppose this sobering self-awareness is merely a byproduct of our species' heightened cognition.

10/27/25
The sports topic is very interesting. It seems to serve as foundational small-talk for men in the workforce.

10/27/25
We certainly live in almost comical hypocrisy. We preach for equality for all, and yet target those we don't agree with. We speak ill of "wealthy," unless they align with our interests, or are entertainment figures. We think of public programs and resources that could enrich our communities, and yet football coaches of public universities get paid tens of millions of dollars. Our National Football League, the pride of all Americans, had a revenue of $21.2 billion for the 2024 season. Baseball star Juan Soto secured a $765 million deal with the New York Mets. Pop star Taylor Swift is worth $2.1 billion. The popular political streamer Hasan Piker, a self-proclaimed socialist, is worth over $10 million.

And still the common, everyday people among us will stand proudly behind these latter figures, with $5 in their back pocket, and hatred brewing in their heart.

Yes, especially as it concerns the trending social issues of the day, Americans live in a comical state of irony and hyprocrisy. I fear that we have lost our ability to think further than the current day.

10/20/25
Do we really need new iPhones every year? Do we really need these non-significant "improvements" each and every year? Can't they just build a phone that they are proud enough of to let circulate for at least a couple of years?

10/20/25
I think the AI bubble will burst soon.

10/14/25
Social media culture has emphasized our tendency to position ourselves socially in favor of the majority. "I like this person, I don't like this person; this person is this, and that person is that." All in accordance with what we see the majority of others saying. "See? I feel the same way you do about everyone--I am one of you. We share morals, values, interests..." What is ironic is that the majority of the majority (which is what we see) are producing this same, reflexive behavior. Are we not in a situation where 90% echo the feelings of the 10% because the 90% feel as though this is what "everyone" thinks?

10/8/25
Anxiety over learning something new because of how long it would take is mostly unfounded. The time will pass no matter what, after all.

10/2/25
I am hopelessly in love with the music and legacy of Chopin. Do not all late-Romantics dance in his light?

September, 2025

9/29/25
Over the past decades we have become infatuated with computers and the amount of information they are able to process. In our infatuation, our imaginations have run wild, and we too wish to replicate this capacity for processing information. Introduce social media, which is nothing more than a funnel of information; and today, the funnel never runs dry. Did we ever stop to think about what the limitations are regarding the human's ability to process information effectively? Have we considered that we may be overclocking our brains with all of this text/image/video/audio information, and that it may be having an overall damaging effect on us as a system?

9/27/25
It's interesting how much time we spend in our lives thinking about how we want certain things that we don't have and how much happier we would be if we had them. What's notable is that each time we end up getting one of those things, the relief we feel is short-lived, and we are back to wanting something else.

9/23/25
And what do we find as an answer, when we ask about the meaning of life? Does not the common citizen reply with something similar to "happiness"? And is this all? Happiness? An emotional state? Surely this cannot be. And what of responsibility? Or understanding? Or emphasizing core principles? Is it American to turn the meaning of life inward, to seek one's own happiness? And where do others factor in? We like to consider ourselves as altruistic, and yet our very meaning of life does not have anything to do with anyone other than ourselves.

9/21/25
I am even more confident in the idea presented in my 8/11 entry about perceiving one's character through how they talk about others. It seems that the more miserable a person is, the more time they will spend talking negatively about other people, or the more time they will spend being worried about the activities of others in the first place. The most pleasant and inspiring people I have ever encountered have shown a disinterest in petty gossip and do not derive pleasure from discussing the shortcomings of others.

August, 2025

8/23/25
Conversations and relationships in general are built upon shared context. For example, imagine if each time you interacted with your family member or best friend, you had to introduce yourself fresh. The idea is absurd. So then, contexts are the vehicle for relationship development, and the more context that is shared, the “closer” you begin to feel to another. However, I don’t believe a decently large context window ensures a strong relationship—you can have much shared context with someone and yet despise them. But, to maintain a healthy, growing relationship, I think much care should be taken in this regard.

And tell me, what good will it do to thrash the period you live within, to steep yourself in anger or hatred toward others and the world at large? We are each but a shallow breath in the eye of the universe, and indulging in such wretched behavior is only a sign of an immature mind.

Many think oneself may be known through observing the occasional trains of reflective thought that randomly ride through consciousness. However, this may be equivalent to saying you know everything about a business by seeing its billboard on the highway. You may derive fundamental concepts about the business, but hardly anything more. I think we must speak to ourselves, write to ourselves, and tread through the insides of the train. If not, they are terribly fleeting.

8/12/25
It is interesting to think about how often we have truly original thoughts, if at all. The irritating thing is, such a thing would be impossible to measure.

8/11/25
A behavior that illuminates one's character well is how often they spend talking negatively about other people vs. how often they spend talking positively about other people--or, how often they spend simply not talking about others at all..

8/8/25
It is interesting to stop and think about the many changes in values and attitudes that have anchored the young throughout the 21st century. Let's imagine you embodied all of them--what would you look like? You would work for a company, but hate your job and boss because they promote a sort of patriarchical system. So then you would be left working each day hating every second but not leaving because you must earn some money. Secondly, you would refuse all religious values and ideologies because these are also ancient patriarchical systems that don't have a place in today's society. Thirdly, you would hold dear the idea of hyper-independence; not in the sense of being able to take care of yourself, but embracing the mindset that you do not need anyone else. You would view most with suspicion and, if you were a woman, you would be highly skeptical of all men, remaining single into middle adulthood at least. Fourthly, since you had abandoned the religious value system, and since you are spending so much time alone (neglecting the fact that we are social creatures with social needs), you begin searching for something that will fill both of these voids simultaneously. Luckily, social media (where you will probably be spending most of your leisure time) has just the answer--national politics. Finally, a place where figures represent ideas and morals but are not anchored in religious fantasy, and a place where ceaseless debate occurs. The internet provides you a perfect place to express how everything you do and think is correct and why everything those who don't like do is wrong.
As I step back and look at this generalized caricature, I cannot say that I envy it. I cannot say that this direction is progress; as a matter of fact, it seems to be an illustration of a human that has haphazardly thrown to the side ideas and rituals that have propelled us through millenia. Nietzsche had said that nihilism was not itself a goal or and end, but a transition into a new set of beliefs and values. It would seem that a) many are using nihilism as their end, and b) we are not taking the time to critically think about what will propel us through further millenia.
I believe living for today will only get us so far.

8/5/25
It is very easy to become irritated or overwhelmed in the face of a challenge. Being overwhelmed is more understandable than being irritated; it would seem to me that irritation in the face of a challenge reflects little more than insecurity. Actually, it may even be a mixture of pride and insecurity--in some sense, one can be almost insulted that the challenge would dare question your capability, in another sense, one secretly doubts if they can succeed. I think maybe this is what it means to be irritated by a challenge.
Whatever the case may be, it is more fruitful to not only accept challenges as they come with a jovial attitude, but it may even be beneficial to consistently seek them independently. This is truly easier said than done.

July, 2025

7/19/25
One of the more thought-provoking things in calculus is the principle that a function may change its behavior rather suddenly as it approaches a value x. While the function previous to this value may be relatively predictable, the function can display novel behavior seemingly arbitrarily at such a point of interest.
I believe this applies to the behavior patterns of biological creatures as well. For example, we may drive 7 hours from Tennessee to Indiana, spending 95% of the way simply listening to music, stopping to use the restroom, and so on. But, for the last 5%, sometimes we can get visibly antsy, maybe we start driving faster, rolling at stop signs, rolling windows up/down, etc. This of course is a generalization, but the main idea is that even us humans can exhibit novel behavior after a relatively predictable chain of behaviors as we approach some point x. Isn't that so interesting?

7/18/25
I am convinced that the modern piano is the most emotionally effective instrument that has ever been developed by humankind. In addition to this, I am convinced that Chopin learned to exemplify this idea to the greatest extent so far in our history. I have never heard music more beautiful than that from Chopin--especially the nocturnes, concertos, and ballades.

June, 2025

6/25/25
I have a feeling that we are in 'the eleventh hour' concerning the way we consume social media currently. These platforms have changed a lot since their inception in the late 2000s/early 2010s. They began as a new, exciting way to connect with those you care about in life--this was their reason for existing. But, over the last 15 years, they have morped into monstrosities that exploit the human nervous system and generate endless revenue for advertisers and themselves. Even more menacingly, these companies have learned the power they wield in influencing human perception, which in turn influences the very shape of society. Nothing I am saying here is controversial--this is simple fact. Given this, it has always been strange to me that the population continues to latch onto these platforms. I think, in our digital world, we have convinced ourselves that social media giants are an inevitability and essentially there is nothing we can do about them. This is sad to me, and I do not believe social media represents an objective inevitability. I do not believe that this status-quo will persist for much longer. It makes me very curious to know what the landscape will look like ten years from now. Will people still cling to these platforms? Will people still destroy their internal reward systems by frying themselves on these platforms which have been designed to make interacting with them as emotionally-charged and addicting as possible? When will we refuse to be treated like hamsters? As it stands now, we welcome the treatment... but why?

6/23/25
The idea of achievement/progress is very interesting. It seems that many people in modern society strive to have the feeling of achievement and progress, and they wonder what the formula is for attaining this. Sometimes people will cite drive, motivation, purpose, things like this. And while these things will fuel or contribute to these ends, I don't think they act as the causal element. What is interesting is, it seems as though the mechanism that actually propels one toward these ends is consistency. And plainly, that seems to be it. If something is done consistently, you will improve at it. It would simply appear to be the case that things like drive, motivation, purpose act as agents which encourage persistence and consistency--but it is important to note that they themselves are not persistence and consistency.

6/21/25
There is so much human life on our planet—there is so much unique, interesting human life on our planet. The same platter of celebrities and figures that is fed to us online is such a dilution of this idea.

6/18/25
We all need to have something to live for. Even if one avoids the realm of the spiritual or looks down upon it with skepticism, one must still find a reason for living. Without it, seems as though it's hard to get up in the morning. Man's most painstakingly deliberated question is: 'why?' The one word both eats us alive and grants us life.

6/16/25
It is very interesting that we would consider staying in an amusement park for weeks on end to be silly, yet we indulge in the same sort of emotionally thrilling pleasures on our phones via social media all day, every day. Why is it still radical for someone to be skeptical of social media? Our world has experienced a boom in connectivity, and it is safe to say we will not revert to our previous circumstances (before social media). However, the habit of being chronically-online will not define humankind for the rest of its existence--this, too, will phase out. I wonder what will come next?

6/1/25
Going on walks in the spring or summer acts as an amazing reset button. It is so amazing to feel the slight breeze, hear & watch the trees sway, look up into the sky. Wow! Even one hour doing this has such amazing effects!

May, 2025

5/31/25
When one has spent a good portion of the day slacking off, watching shows or doing something else generally considered 'lazy,' it's easy to think that the day is wasted and you may as well wait until the next day to do anything. However, it is very interesting how much different a day can look and feel within a matter of hours. Even if it's 5:00pm, and you have done nothing all day, you can still turn around and do soemthing interesting or productive for another four hours and only have it be 9:00pm. It's refreshing to know that a day can always be salvaged.

5/29/25
I started college a bit late, at twenty-two years old. I remember when I was thinking about quitting my (then) current job to attend university full-time, I was nervous because I knew it would take four years to complete, and that seemed like a long time when I was alreadt twenty-two.
I remember a particular conversation I had with my grandpa. It was a nice July day-- the sun was out, there was a nice breeze, and we were just talking under a tree. I expressed these worries to him. After a pause, he looked at me and said, 'Four years is going to pass no matter what. It doesn't matter if you decide to go to college or not, the four years are going to pass no matter what. Would you prefer to have a degree four years from now, or have one?'
It was a remarkably simple but amazing point. It made me realize that is really does not matter 'how long something takes.' If you are curious about doing something, or wonder if something is possible, just go and try it. Just seriously go and do it.
I really believe that only by doing can we learn ourselves, those close to us, and the world around us.

5/16/25
The most fascinating and beautiful thing about baseball to me is the fact that your chances of success every time you are at-bat are much lower than your chances of failure. Baseball is a game where you constantly fail, and the ability of the players to overcome their high likelihood of failure and to still dig out moments of success is very elegant and beautiful.

5/14/25
As someone in their late twenties, interacting with or simply observing people in their later years is an almost surreal experience. They introduce the indifferent fact that one day, if I am lucky, I will be their age. I will be old. Now I am young and ambitious, full of drive and equipped with an inexhaustible tolerance for rejection and failure. How will I change in the following decades?

5/07/25
There is nothing wrong with being yourself. If you don’t do things the way other people do them, if you don’t think about things the way other people do, if you don’t have the same reactions and interests as others—that’s okay. Don’t view yourself as the locus of the problem and think you must change. As a matter of fact, don’t view the situation as a problem at all. It is completely fine to be the way you are, and it is completely fine for others to be how they are as well.

4/22/25
I work for my old chemistry lab supervisor on campus. A couple of weeks ago, we were talking, and she expressed being exhausted with the lack of effort she was seeing from many students. This is not uncommon for her, but at the end she said something really interesting that caught my attention. She said, "Students these days need to understand that not everything can be done in five minutes." This really struck a chord within me. I think a lot of us, given the world we are immersed in, expect quick results in all facets of our life. But the truth is, all things that are worth attaining cannot "be done in five minutes." It's inspiring, and reasssures me that steady, hard work toward meaningful goals will lead to success.